"I can't believe they went to meet their idol and that's how they acted"
Everyone likes to say, "I would never do that" or "I can't believe they went to meet their idol and that's how they acted."
From going to shows, I've learned that:
- It's easy to say what you would or wouldn't do when you're not actually in the situation. Don't say what you would do, only that you haven't.
- There are certain people who completely change when they're in front of their beloved celebrity. They may be mild-mannered and have it together in their normal life, but all of a sudden the rules and all sense of normal decency seem to go out the window when the celebrity they like is standing in front of them.
The question I bring today is: Why does this happen?
It's easy to dismiss it as, "They're just cringe." "They're just weirdos."
But that's oversimplifying it and doesn't actually get to the root of the issue.
Ultimately, why these things happen is because there is a sense of rarity. A sense of exclusivity. A sense of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
"Here's my chance."
There's also the fact that for many people, this celebrity has existed mostly in their imagination. They've seen photos, videos, interviews, streams, and social media posts for years. Then suddenly that person is standing right in front of them. The celebrity stops being an idea and becomes a real human being. That transition catches some people completely off guard.
Another factor is that people aren't usually chasing a specific action. The hug, the photo, the compliment, the joke—those are just vehicles. What they're really chasing is a feeling. A feeling of connection. Recognition. Validation. Gratitude. They want the interaction to mean something.
Add in the fear that this might be the only opportunity they'll ever have, and people start making decisions they normally wouldn't.
Now, this might not even be about "shooting your shot."
It could just be about trying to get a picture with them. Giving them a hug. Trying to tell them how big of a fan you are and how they changed your life.
I've seen on countless occasions where suddenly, when THAT celebrity is in front of you, seeing them is not enough.
It happens so fast. The realization that the interaction is going by too quickly. You can't just walk away feeling like there was more to be had. The temptation is too great. Again, it's not all well thought out. You're just in the moment and come up with whatever you can on the spot.
Part of the problem is that people are trying to avoid regret in real time. They don't want to walk away thinking, "I should have said something," or "I should have tried." Ironically, that fear of future regret is often what creates the awkward moment in the first place.
And then a normal interaction becomes weird. Or uncomfortable.
That's the worst feeling.
Sometimes you know you've said or done something off-putting. You should just walk away and take the L. But not everyone can do that and live with the regret. So you try to explain yourself, but everything you say just digs the hole even deeper.
The good news is that it gets easier with time. It gets easier with experience.
In my decades of doing this stuff, I've done some dumb things. None of it intentional. All of it with the best of intentions. Sometimes you try to compliment someone and it doesn't come out right. Sometimes you're trying to be too clever and the joke doesn't land. Sometimes the pressure is just too much.
The ultimate equalizer for all of this is experience.
It's not about being perfect and never making a mistake. It's about having made mistakes in the past and knowing how not to let them affect you as much in the moment.
It's knowing that even though this idol is standing in front of me, and it might be the only chance I ever get to have a memorable moment, it's not so important that I need to do something crazy or outlandish.
I'm okay.
Because there's always another moment.
And even if there isn't, I'll be okay anyway.
